I have had several people remark to me this week how hectic this Christmas seems. Traffic in the Atlanta area is always heavy but normally other motorists will yield or at least allow you to merge. Other customers in the checkout line are usually friendly and don’t mind letting you come ahead of them if you have only one item. Store clerks and customer service representatives are usually smiling and courteous.
But, not so lately. Perhaps its the divisiveness of the recent election. Perhaps its the economy. Perhaps is simply that we are becoming more materialistic as a society. Whatever the reason, several people have remarked to me how stressful this year seems. Traffic is heavy, and everyone is a little less focused on the joy of Christmas and a little more focused on the stress. It occurred to me yesterday as I was out shopping – when we focus on “perfect” we forget to focus on joy.
Christmas is supposed to be a joyful season, not a stressful one. It’s a celebration, a joyous remembrance of the reason we have hope. So this Christmas, if you are feeling too much stress and not enough joy, here are three ways to forget about the “perfect” Christmas, and start focusing on a joyful Christmas!
1) It’s NOT about the Presents.
The retailers may hate me for saying this, but Christmas isn’t supposed to be about “perfect” gifts. A relationship with someone shouldn’t be based on how much money you spent on them or vice versa. Mack and I focus on doing something special together rather than buying each other lots of gifts. Can you remember what someone gave you for Christmas ten years ago? Fifteen? Nope. But, I bet you do remember that special weekend away, or the time you did something together like bungee jumping. Instead of buying presents this year, make a memory together. Experiences enhance your relationship.
Sure, I know that some people have a love language of gifts – and if that’s their love language, it’s perfectly fine to get them a gift. But, the focus here should be on the demonstration of affection. If you decide to exchange gifts, make something, or find something unique rather than expensive. Your expression of affection shouldn’t be determined in dollar signs. My suggestion: Ask your extended family if you can forgo the present swap this year. Or, if you just feel tearing into a gift wrapped with pretty paper is something your family can’t live without, draw names or play a nice version of “Dirty Santa.” Trust me, when you have ten, twenty, or more less presents to buy, you will thank me.
2) Less is More.
I think social media should be blamed for a lot of the pressure we feel these days around Christmas. Now, it’s almost a requirement to have Elf on the Shelf so you can show off the most inventive, cute, or imaginative ideas that your Elf did. One mama I talked to this week said she can’t wait for Christmas to be over so she can put that that “stupid elf” away. And, putting up your Christmas tree doesn’t count unless you post a perfect picture on Facebook. Same thing goes for your Christmas table setting – it’s gotta be perfect so you can post a picture on Instagram!! Right? Wrong. When it comes to a special time of remembering the meaning of Christmas, less is more. Of course it’s ok to put up a few decorations and be festive, but really, don’t worry about having the house picture perfect. I haven’t put up a tree in two years, and it’s awesome how much more time I have both before and after Christmas. I have some decorations, but I no longer spend hours decorating the “perfect” tree. Of course, what goes up must come down – before New Year’s Eve or its bad luck!
Decide what’s non-negotiable for you and your family. If you want a tree, that’s great – decorate it (and take it down) together so it’s a time of togetherness, not something just to do because everyone else does it. Maybe you forgo the tree and spend the evening riding around town looking at Christmas lights instead. Enjoy a few things – just don’t try to do everything. Less really is more when it comes to experience joy and gratitude for simple things. If you really want to embrace this concept, stay off social media for a few days and see how much less pressure you feel! And, that leads up to #3….
3) Embrace an Attitude of Gratitude
I stood in line at the grocery store yesterday morning much longer than usual. As always, I faced two choices: Feel frustrated at standing in line forever while the only cashier in the store checked everyone out, one item at a time; (And, there were lots of items because everyone in line had a buggy/cart full) Or, I could stand there and count my blessings while I waited, starting with gratitude for a choice of grocery stores, money to buy food, a car to drive to the store in, a coat to wear in the 25 degree weather, strength and health to do my own shopping, a warm house to come home to, and I could just keep going. When we embrace an attitude of gratitude, we realize just how fortunate we are, instead of focusing on the negative aspects of our situation. You always find what you are looking for, so why not look for the good?
I talked about this concept a lot in my women’s devotional on gratitude, “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made: A Grateful Heart” because gratitude is the foundation for joy and happiness, regardless of how much or how little we have. This Christmas, forget about having the “perfect” Christmas, and embrace gratitude for the things that really matter.
About the author: Like many, Ria faced adversity in life. Raised on an isolated farm in Alabama, she was sexually abused by her father from age 12 – 19. Desperate to escape, she left home at 19 without a job, a car, or even a high school diploma. Ria went on to thrive. She worked her way through school, an MBA, and a successful career in the corporate world of administrative healthcare.
Now a full time leadership motivational speaker, coach, and author of 7 books, Ria co-founded Top Story Leadership, a consulting company offering keynote speaking, leadership training, and coaching
