First of all, let me say that I’m incredibly grateful for my readers and humbled by the fact that since my first post last May, (A Bittersweet Day For Some Of Us) my website blog was read by nearly 5,000 people, and in 78 countries around the world in 2015! That doesn’t include LinkedIn viewers and direct subscribers either! I hope my message of inspiration and hope continues to touch hearts and change lives around the world. If you would like to receive my blogs in your email, please sign up here and also receive my complimentary leadership training series.
I received quite a few comments on my first blog of 2016, “New Year, Same You.” As the momentum of the New Year carries us into the first full week of 2016, change and choices are on the top of everyone’s mind. One reader pointed out that motivation is important to change, but so is knowledge and education. In her email to me, she stated, “So frequently both external and internal motivation are present, nonetheless we are not able to channel them appropriately. Educating ourselves through correct means, either auto-didactically (by oneself) or through coaching will guarantee success.”
Coaching can be an incredible experience as you realize your potential. However, it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach and only brings success equal to the effort and commitment of the individual. The reason coaching can be such a powerful tool to help you be successful is that the coaching process gives you a thinking partner, an accountability partner, and a resource to help you identify your solutions. It’s not the coaching itself that is educational, it’s the fact that the coaching process raises your self-awareness. The more aware we are, the better equipped we will be.
I compare it to learning to walk. When you first realized that you wanted to walk, you started by seeing others do it and that ignited an internal fire in you to do the same. It had to be a strong desire to overcome all the bumps, bruises, totters, tumbles and trips that you were going to experience along the way. Starting with the desire but lacking the “know how,” you had to educate yourself and start the learning process the only way you could – by trying and failing, trying and failing, trying and eventually succeeding. You learned to walk by learning what didn’t work. But, no one would say that you failed to learn to walk! You simply tried, failed, and tried again and again, until you figured it out.
The majority grew up with parents, grandparents, older siblings, or other caregivers that were there when you started learning to walk (or learning to fall!) and they could help you a little by holding your hand, encouraging you, and helping you navigate some obstacles. But, they couldn’t do it for you and they couldn’t do anything if you didn’t try. That’s what a coach does. A coach is someone to come alongside you as you set your goals. A good coach will encourage you and help you navigate around the roadblocks on your way to success. Your coach can’t do it for you, and it’s not a shortcut, but they can accelerate your journey and perhaps help you go farther or faster than you realized you could.
There have been times in my life when I didn’t realize my own potential. There have been times in my life when I needed to raise my level of awareness. Sometimes I had someone to help me and other times I had to figure things out on my own, which is what happened when I realized I needed to find a job.
It had been just a little more than a month since I had left home. After years of being subjected to sexual abuse and treated like a prisoner at home, the freedom of suddenly being able to go to the store by myself without asking permission was heady. I didn’t have to face an inquisition every time I came home about whether any boys had talked to me. I was struggling with self-esteem, shame, guilt, and feeling constant pressure to be self-sufficient. I wanted a job because it represented independence and gave me assurance that I wouldn’t ever have to be dependent on my parents again. But, I didn’t have any job skills, a resume or even a high-school diploma. I really had no idea how people got jobs and only had a vague idea that college would help.
I started by reading the newspaper classified ads on Mack’s advice, but that wasn’t really working and wasn’t happening fast enough for me. I got out one day and just started driving around – determined to come home with a job. I went to the state employment agency and applied but of course that doesn’t happen right away. I went and took a typing test, but still that didn’t give me a job. Finally, I spotted a “now hiring” sign at a restaurant and thought to myself – I can wait tables. I know I can do that and I can do that very well. I walked in and was hired on the spot. Sure, I figured it out – but it would have been much faster if I had known what to do to start with.
Success! What a great feeling when we set and accomplish a goal in life, big or small. Whether it’s learning to walk or learning to have self-discipline and lose weight, sometimes we can accelerate our journey to that goal when we have help from someone else.
Ria is a motivational speaker and certified executive coach with a passion for helping others make the right choices today to reach their goals tomorrow. Contact Ria for information on success coaching. To sign up for Ria’s complimentary leadership training series, CLICK HERE.
