It’s everywhere on social media or TV right now. Everywhere you turn, there are commercials and ads and promises to make you perfect in 2016: “New Year! Start Your New Year Right” “30 Day Weight loss Plan” “Be Your Best Self in 2016!”
And, then there are the imperfect self in 2016 ads, where the theme is you aren’t good enough, so get a new you: “It’s Not About New Year’s Resolutions, It’s About A New You”
I’ve done it myself – get motivated after the holidays because January brings a fresh start. Make plans, goals, dreams, join the gym, buy the shakes, purchase the pills, order the DVDs, and so on. It’s a new year and a new start.
But, it’s the same “you.” And, the statistics about unsuccessful New Year’s Resolutions are staggering. And, depressing.
In order to achieve something different than who, what or where we are now, we have to BECOME someone different. It’s a fact – if we don’t change, nothing in our life will change. It might be a New Year, but if it’s the Same You, you will travel the Same Old Street and end up with the Same Old Results.
When we aspire to change something outside of ourselves, it’s easy to decide to do it because it’s external. But, usually not very effective. The scale for example. You might decide to change the number on the scale that reflects your weight. Easy decision. Simple. Doing something about it is very difficult however.Calories consumed and calories burned through exercise. Simple. However, when it comes time to actually try to ignore your craving for a bowl of ice cream, that’s difficult. Or, when your tummy starts growling at 3:00pm and you’ve already had your healthy snack of one apple and a piece of string cheese and it’s still three hours before dinnertime.
So, how do we change?
Ah! That’s the million dollar question. Or the free question with the million dollar answer.
We have to change inside first before we can change outside.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
That only happens when our inner self decides first that change is desirable, necessary, and then required. Your sub-conscious mind, if you want to call it that. Your true self. Not just your conscious brain that says “Gee, I need to lose 10 pounds,” or “I want to start exercising regularly” but your entire being, conscious AND other than conscious.
You must value something enough to be willing to change. Until you truly value losing weight or being healthy or anything else, your actions won’t demonstrate it. You must truly value WHY you are doing it. Like Simon Sinek says, “Start with why.” And, your WHY must be big enough and strong enough to inspire you to change. Your reason and your purpose.
That’s the difference between an intrinsic motivational factor (within you based on your values) and an extrinsic motivational factor (outside you based on what someone else thinks, does, or says).
It looks completely different. Instead of deciding to lose 10 pounds because you think the number on the scale it too big, it’s deciding to live a healthy lifestyle with good eating and activity choices because you value living a healthy life so you can have fun with your grandchildren. Or because you know you are fulfilling God’s mission and purpose for your life so you must take care of the body He gave you, without which you cannot fulfill that purpose.
That’s the only way to tip the scale – your “WHY” on the other side must be bigger than whatever it is you are trying to resist.
The apple alone isn’t heavy enough to tip the scale in its favor. Ever. Honestly, I would choose the cupcake every time. But, if you add the value of stable blood sugar, decreased diabetes risk (and all the complications!), healthy blood pressure, healthy weight, and more energy, suddenly the scales tip in favor of the apple after all. Most of the time anyway!
Weight loss is a good example for this time of year but the principle applies to everything else we want to change about ourselves. It comes down to being intentional. Making intentional decisions based on what you truly value. Change inside first, then change happens outside.
New Year + Same You = Same Results
New Year + New You = Different Results
Simple. But, not easy.
Ria is a certified coach with a passion for empowering others to make the right choices today to reach their goals tomorrow. Contact Ria for more information on her coaching programs. Or, click here to learn more about professional coaching.
