Everyone faces fear. The question is, “What will we do when we face fear?” Nelson Mandela said “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
Fear is the emotion we create when we worry. We create fear by telling ourselves all the bad things that could happen. What we focus on expands. To overcome fear, we must identify a reason to move forward that is stronger than our fear. Overcoming fear means allowing our core values to guide us, rather than allowing the emotions of worry, concern, or fear to control us. The vast majority of our fears are completely unfounded anyway. In his book The Worry Cure, Robert Leahy shares with us 85% of what we are afraid of never happens.
“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step.” ~ Les Brown
Fear is something created by our thoughts. In the words of Dale Carnegie, “Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in your mind.” That’s why different people have different fears – because they think different thoughts. Fear is one of the most basic emotions and can be healthy when warranted. But far too often, fear holds us back and prevents us from moving forward. The key is to learn how to control your fear instead of letting your fear control you.
Here are three steps to moving forward from fear:
1) IDENTIFY YOUR FEAR OR ANXIETY
When you find yourself not taking action or not moving forward, take the time to really think about why. You may be afraid of many things. Fear of failure. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of not being popular. Identify what you are really afraid of. Write it down if that helps. I like to literally take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it (vertically). Then, I list any fears or problems on the left side of the paper.
2) IDENTIFY WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Once you have identified your fear, stop focusing on it. Instead, make a list on the right side of your paper of everything you can control, influence, or cause to happen that will positively impact the outcome of whatever you are afraid of. This is where very successful people invest their time and energy – on the things they can do. If you focus your time, energy, and effort on the things you can control, you will find, over time, there are more things you can control.
3) TAKE ACTION
Now that you have identify action steps you CAN take to positively affect the outcome of the situation, take action. Stop worrying and do something. If the situation is out of your control, there isn’t any reason to worry about it. Worrying won’t help. Not moving forward at all or never taking a risk isn’t an option. As Muhammad Ali said, “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”
Leadership Speaker Ria Story, offers uniquely designed leadership development content specifically designed for women. Ria teaches leadership and success principles for women in a real, relatable, and practical way helping you increase your influence, maximize your potential, and claim the life you deserve to live.
Visit RiaStory.com for resources, podcast info, programs, and books on leadership, success, and personal growth.
