Yesterday was a cold morning, with some rare snow on the ground. I had planned to run a 15k race with a dear friend but they scratched the race on Friday due to the weather. So instead, I spent the morning reading “A Stolen Life” by Jaycee Dugard.
If you don’t remember, or aren’t familiar with her story, Jaycee was abducted when she was eleven and held captive for 18 years. She was used, abused, and somehow survived. She had two children, fathered by her abductor and rapist, and they too were held prisoner.
I can’t imagine what she went through.
Actually, yes I can. I can imagine and relate, perhaps only too well to some of her feelings and emotions. I find myself compelled to read the stories of other “victims” and yet it’s always difficult for me to do so. On one hand, I want to learn how others have coped with similar circumstances as what I endured, and on the other, I don’t want to know what they went through because it brings back so much of the past for me.
“God wants to say something to the world through me.” Rick Warren
My story isn’t her story, but there are certainly a lot of similarities. Jaycee says, “I don’t think of myself as a victim. I simply survived an intolerable situation.” I wish I could give her a huge hug and let her know that I understand. I understand her desire to be heard and yet her fear of sharing her story, along with her difficulty in writing about what she went through. I understand why she became a prisoner in her mind, as well as physically. I understand why she was unable to leave, in the later years of her captivity, even though she had access to the internet and even some outings where she could have gotten help.
Jaycee’s book is titled “A Stolen Life.” I understand that too. She lost 18 years of her life and she won’t ever get that back. Life doesn’t come with an “Undo” button. Rightfully so, she feels like those years were stolen from her. I feel much the same about my own years as a teenager. Those should have been happy years of discovering and developing self, purpose and passion. Instead, those years are mostly ones I would like to forget. On the shallow surface, things seemed ok. Maybe not normal – anyone could, and did, see that my dad was too “familiar” with me, I dressed in clothes he bought me that were too sexy, I barely spoke to anyone, I didn’t date or even talk about boys, I wasn’t allowed to socialize much, and we were isolated from church, school and family. But, none of that was enough for someone to get involved. None of that was enough for anyone to ask what was really going on each night when dad “tucked me in.” How often we turn a blind eye to the things that we don’t really want to see.
More than anything else I would say to her though, I wish I could give Jaycee a hug and tell her I’m proud of her choices and decisions since August 26, 2009 when she took her name and her life back. I’m proud for her and her decisions to create something good from her years of loss, pain, and hardship. I’m proud of her for facing her fears and being strong enough to be vulnerable. I’m proud of her because she is determined not to let the rest of her life be stolen too.
Ria is a motivational speaker and certified leadership coach with a passion for helping others make the right choices today to reach their goals tomorrow. Contact Ria for information on success coaching or motivational speaking. To sign up for Ria’s complimentary leadership training series, CLICK HERE.
