The fact that we are human and self-aware creates an interesting problem sometimes. Because, we are aware of our situation and circumstances, both past and present. But because we are human, we are sometimes unwilling to do anything about improving that situation or circumstances.
Classic example: This weekend, millions of people will make a New Year’s Resolution to get fit, lose weight, quit smoking, get organized, quit drinking, get out of debt, write that book they’ve been thinking about, find the perfect job, house, or spouse, stop yelling at their kids, give up sugar, give up swearing, spend more time with family, be kinder, be better, get over themselves, get over someone else, and on and on.
And, they mean it. We all want life to be better next year than it was this year. Wanting to improve one’s life is normal, human, and good.
Being unwilling to do something about it is also perfectly normal and human, as evidenced by the statistics of broken New Year’s Resolutions, but it’s not good. Because, nothing gets better by accident. We’ve all heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, and expecting different results. But, that’s exactly what millions of people will do as 2017 winds down and 2018 begins.
Viktor Frankl said, “When I can no longer change a situation, I am challenged to change myself.” If we want to change our circumstances, we must first change ourselves.
“I’m willing to change,” you may be thinking, or, “I’ve already decided to change!”
Possibly. Maybe. I don’t know that, but you do. But, I do know this. Much like “Faith without works,” doesn’t help anyone, decisions without execution are pointless. It’s not enough to decide. What determines if 2018 will be different is your willingness to take action. It’s not rocket science. It’s not a secret. It’s just hard work.
I’m sharing the first of three steps to turning a setback into a comeback in 2018 here and I’ll share step two tomorrow and step three the following day. Then, it’s up to you. I can’t do it for you. Only you can determine if your results will be better in 2018.
1) Own Your Setback
If you don’t own it, you are running from it. Own your setback and own your story. The first step in changing anything is to be honest about where you are, where you want to go, and the gap in between. Be honest about what you can and cannot change. And, be willing to take responsibility for changing what you can. Remember Neibuhr’s famous serenity prayer? He said it better than I can:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
It may be a mistake you made, or some tough facts about your life, past, or history. It might be your physical health limitations today. Whatever it is, own it. Unapologetically acknowledge that it’s influenced who you are. And, then decide if you want it to influence you positively or negatively. I can’t change the story of my childhood. As much as I might want to wish for a father who protected me instead of sexually abusing me from 12 years old until I ran away, or a mother who cared about me instead of rejecting me, it wouldn’t change the facts. Growing up in shame, fear, and feeling dirty and abused certainly influenced me and who I am today. But, in owning it instead of running from it I learned to overcome it. God grant me serenity to own my story,
my setbacks, and the facts I cannot change. Tomorrow, I’ll talk about the second step in turning a setback into a comeback and the catalyst for change
Interested in learning more? Join me in February 2018 for a women’s retreat with sessions on overcoming adversity and issues like anxiety, shame, and fear; as well as sessions on creating and executing your action plan to make 2018 your best year yet!
